March 31 | Memories
When Melissa & I drove to the state fair last August we were talking about different comedians, music artists and actors. I didn't know a lot of the people she knew and she didn't know some of the people I mentioned, but we had a good laugh about getting older. One of the people that I mentioned was George Burns. She didn't know who he was, until I mentioned the movie "Oh, God" and she said...you mean the old guy that always smoked cigars. I miss comparing notes about getting older, I miss her smile, I miss giving her grief about anything and everything, I miss...Melissa
March 29 | Just one of those days...
Today just felt, looked, even smelled like one of those days that I would be outside in my driveway, smokin a cigarette, and waiting for Missa to go on lunch break or get out of school so she could come pick me up for our daily havoc-reeking on the poor unknowing town of Homer.
She always hated it when I called her by her full name...I sometimes think that maybe if I yelled it out loud enough that she would come punch me for it, then laugh and run away...
Thinking of you always, Melissa.
March 28 | Bright Day
Melissa, I wish you were around today. It's sunny and I'm in a party mood. It'd be awesome to terrorize KMart or play pool or just hang out with you. I'm really sad that I don't get to do any of those things with you anymore. If you were here I give you a hug, slug you on the shoulder... then run like hell.
March 25 | variations on a theme
Melissa was injured so frequently that she was on a first name basis with the x-ray technition at the hospital. His name was Bob, and he had a fake leg.
March 25 | Bumped & Bruised
It always seemed like Melissa was hurt or bruised somewhere. We would tease her that she should own part of 3M with all the braces and ace bandages she went through. She just seemed to take it all in stride and with a smile.
March 23 | day at the hospital
Melissa’s knee was once again swollen to about the size of her head, and Mom decided to take her to the hospital on a summer Saturday afternoon. She was about 9, I think, and her knee had been hurting her for a really long time.
The doctor took Mom and Melissa to a room buried deep within the hospital halls, but I wasn’t allowed to come. I sat in the waiting room for an hour at least, though it felt like much more.
Mom had given me a dollar for a candy bar or something, so I went off in search for a vending machine. I ended up in the cafeteria; I was just pulling my Snickers bar from the machine when a large nurse kicked me out of the cafeteria.
Being restless, I went outside to wander around the parking lot and woods behind the hospital. I met another kid a few years younger than me and we hung out for a few hours. I had mentioned that I was incredibly hungry – lunch had come and gone and dinner was just around the corner. I had missed one and was about to miss another.
This kid – I think it was a boy, but I cannot remember – said he lived just a few blocks from the hospital and he would get me some food. He was gone for no longer than fifteen minutes and returned with some apple juice, an orange, and a granola bar.
He told me that he had to sneak it out so that his mom wouldn’t get mad. I was so grateful and gobble the entire thing up.
It was getting dark, and he had to go home. I was sad, but returned back to the waiting room. Jennifer showed up because she was supposed to go with the three of us to the Mother/Daughter tea at the church that day, but the doctor was taking too long with Melissa.
After a few hours, Melissa and Mom came back. The doctor had removed three large syringes of water from her knee. This was the first of many doctors’ visits that concluded she had juvenile arthritis. I’ll never forget Melissa’s bad knee.
March 21 | scapegoat
When I was twelve, I was very interested in starting to shave my legs. I took mom's razor from her bathroom and tried shaving during a bath.
Not wanting to ask mom to get me a razor, and certainly not wanting to buy one myself, I kept mom's in our bathroom.
Thinking I was sly and clever, I went to mom and thanked her for getting me a razor. I told her that I had been thinking about starting shaving my legs, but I hadn't yet asked.
When she told me that she hadn't put a razor in my bathroom and hers was missing, I said something to the effect of, "Melissa must have put it in there. I wonder what she would want with your razor?" I completely blamed it on Melissa.
March 12 | Still with us
Well it is obvious to me, especially after yesterday Melissa is still here with us and causing as much trouble as before. We went to the Glacier Drive In for lunch and to take her birthday balloon to the beach to let it go. We were going to leave the balloon in the car until after lunch and just like at her funeral the wind was blowing and it caught the balloon and sent it flying out over the inlet before we could catch it. She never could wait for a party to start : ) Love you Mel....
March 11 | Happy Birfday!
Well, nineteen, huh? Now you can go buy yourself a pack of smokes and not have to whine when we can't find someone old enough! Remeber all the fun we had for 18? Always remember the bagel! Be safe, make good choices, and don't forget the duct tape! Happy 19th my "little love button!"
March 11 | Birthday Wishes
Happy Birthday Melissa.
We will celebrate your birthday today and give thanks for the time that we had with you and wish there had been more.
We are going to the beach to release a birthday balloon and spend time where you loved to be.
We love you Melissa and miss you and wish you were here with us.
March 11 | inundated
Today would have been the day that I inundated her in-box with emails. I would have spent a good portion of my morning searching for variations on the birthday theme song and emailing them each to her, one by one.
I would have sent her 19 emails with an ASCII rose in each of them – one for each year of her life. I would have tried to overflow her in-box until messages started bouncing back to be due to her box being full.
Happy birthday, Melissa.
March 11 | Party Central
While Melissa was in Fairbanks last year celebrating her 18th birthday, I was planning a big bash for my 30th. I was limited on cool party accessories so Melissa decided to hook me up. She sent up her red rope lights to add to the ambience. She offered to send up a lot of other stuff too. When it came to fun party items, Melissa was the person to know.
Right now I sit in front of my computer looking at the lava lamp and black light that were hers as well as the red rope lights which she let me use for my party. In memory of Melissa I choose not to let the wild, partying, fun-loving part of herself die. Tonight, on Melissa's birthday, Valette and I will terrorize K-Mart in the humorous, trouble-making fashion that defined Melissa. Here's to you sis.
March 10 | Melissa's Birthday
Tuesday is going to be a day we are all aware of. Never really thought about birthdays for myself, besides knowing I'd get a gift. The day I gave birth to my first born, who was Carrie, I had realized what it meant to be a MOTHER! This is more for the Mom, Happy birthday. Love Rita
March 10 | 18th Birthday
Melissa came up to Fairbanks last year just after her 18th birthday. We celebrated by taking her to get her frog tattoo. That week is also the week that I dyed her hair five times in one night. We stayed up until 5am coloring her hair, playing video games, and laughing our asses off. It was a fun week. It was also the last quality time I got to spend with her. I am happy that I got to celebrate her 18th birthday with her. I can't believe that she never lived to see 19. This is going to be a hard week.
March 05 | Invisible George
When Melissa was around six or seven, she was actively involved with this guy named George. He was her imaginary friend.
She would whisper something in George's ear every five minutes, and the two of them would burst into giggles. I never witnessed this, though she did make sure to frequently remind me of his coolness and my lack thereof.
I often tried to sit on top of himwhile he and Melissa were sitting somewhere doing something together in order to squash him. He was too quick for me.
The biggest thing I remember about George was that he floated above her bed. She told me once that he didn't like sleeping with lots of dolls and stuffed animals; he refuse to sleep on her bed.
I was always a little weirded out at the thought of an invisible boy floating over her bed just staring down at her. Perhaps he stared at the ceiling or the wall instead of down at the bed.
I could never imagine what he looked like or how old he was, and Melissa refused to answer my questions. 'It doesn't matter,' she would always tell me. I wonder what happened to old George...
March 05 | Happy Birthday
Well, this is the weekend that Melissa and I would exchange birthday greetings.
I miss her ... Happy 19th B day Melissa ... I know she would wish me the same except I'm 39. She would joke with me... REALLY...Are you sure .... Yes, I am now the age that never ends : ) Her smile would light my life.