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May 20 | I Will Survive
I haven't been depressed in weeks.
And that's something I haven't been able to say since before Melissa died.
It's great to have the energy to do laundry. Or dishes. Or drive to the store. Or take the dog out to pee. Last night I did all those, and more.
It feels great to do, to be, to live.
I've known for quite some time that I have survived her death. The incident, the moment, is in the past. And I survived.
What I haven't known is how I was going to survive every day life without her. Her death is in the past, but her absence is in the present as well as the future.
It now appears I am going to survive the present and future without her. And that seems neither right nor fair. She deserves more than 8 months of mourning and grief.
I want the tears to still flow freely.
I want to not enjoy life because she no longer has one to enjoy.
I want the pain to still be fresh.
Most of all, I want my sister back.
|
im with you on that! |
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